As time flows

"As time flows, a legend came to spread around.

That there is a mystery of an impregnable castle.

That the lord of the castle is blind and the knight is not even able to walk properly."

I'm Bias

I'm bias and I know it, but who isn't?

Secret Weakness

They're always asking me "What do you think of you?"
Looking through my window
I've always needed to be myself
If you're always telling me "So what you gonna do?"
Now I am standing here with so many programmed lines

All your smiles when you cheer me
I don't need it in the end
Everybody laughed at me
Oh don't you know they hide my secret weakness?

I've got to change the way of your sleepless night
If you don't know what's behind the game
There is million ways of the counter chance
that make us realize the answer

Everyday is passing through like a shooting star
I'm acting like a dancer
I'm trying not to lose myself

Let's go extend your hands to glaring light
Surely there's something you need
Just that it's too late, you can't go back
You should understand it

Run though the glaring lights
and find the gate to the new world you hope

Be yourself?

"The fourth way to get a boy to like you is to be yourself. Now, I am contractually obligated as an adult to give that advice, even though it doesn't work. But yeah, be yourself, even though no one has any idea what it means to be yourself. Like whose self would I otherwise be being?"
-
John Green

Be yourself.

What does that even mean?

It's a lie

It's a lie,

but it doesn't matter anyways.

Truth or not.

I'm just like Pitch Black/Jack Frost to you.

I know what I need

I know what I need.

Whether I get it or not, 

it's none of your business.

You don't really care anyway.

So why act like you do?

Is it a bad thing?

Will I ever find what I want?

Pain

What do you feel?

How does it feel?/Kindness

How does that old man feel? How does he feel when no one understands what he's saying?
I'm sorry, I tried my best.

First you have 3 sisters, then you have 4, and the next moment you have 5. 

When you wave to the wall & say your friend is there, I really freaked out.

Are you saying your parents adopted you?

Are you saying that your brothers are dead?

I tried to understand & communicate, but I'm sorry, I couldn't.
& so I wonder, what is it that you feel?
When no one understand what you're trying to say?
Frustration? Sadness? Loneliness?
Or maybe you don't care at all?
Whatever it is, I'll never know.
All I could do was to nod, hoping you'd feel better if I pretended I understood what you said.

 There are lots of kind people out there,
but kindness isn't always reciprocated right?
Looking at your scratched arm,
I feel sorry for you YJ.
 How does it feel?
To end up with injuries when all you tried to do was to offer your kindness?
I want to know, at that moment, was there any trace of anger in your heart?
It is obvious that you are a lovely person, but still, I can't help but wonder, what is your limit?

Juno

I really liked the movie :) should watch it again soon.

You once told me you didn't want to get pregnant.
But I remember that day,
what you said made me think that you are a really beautiful person.
I don't know about now,
but at that moment,
I really thought that the sun shines out of your ass :)

Things I'm thankful for this week

1) Waking up in the middle of the night, leaving me with so much free time.

2) Skype with sister

3) Facetime with lil bro

4) Contacted old friend
5) Did well in quizes
6) Being honest
7) Being appreciated
8) Giving

Neat people/Similarities

Neat people cannot possibly understand the concept of an organized mess, nor can they seem to understand that if they take something and put it in a different place from where I left it, I couldn't possibly know where it is.

Especially since their idea of it being neat is just putting everything out of sight and hidden in a drawer somewhere... At least if it's all over my desk I can just pick it off the pile. When you take all the stuff off my desk and put it into random cupboards and drawers round the house, am I really supposed to know where my stuff is? And when I ask, I get slapped with the, "You should really keep track of your stuff better then so you don't keep losing it. I put it in the cupboard," answer.

-
Saelis

It's actually quite easy to find someone who share similarities with you. Just like how these exact words of another person,  fully expressed my thought.

 Some people wants to be unique, some people want to find someone who is the same as them. Well, to those who wants to be unique, sorry to break it to you, but whatever you've gone through, whatever you may think makes you unique, chances are, someone somewhere in this world has been through similar experiences. & that will make them so much like you that you feel that it makes you less unique when you are around them. You cannot take it, you cannot accept that you aren't really that unique, and then you stay away from them, thanks to your big ego. In fact, it is your big ego that's making you think that you ARE unique and MUST be as unique as possible in the first place. It's sad that you have to hide from the truth, the truth that you really aren't that special. The fear, the fear of sharing your thoughts, is it really just afraid of being judged by others? Or is it because you're afraid some people might have the same thought as you?

For those who wants to find someone who is the same as them, sorry to disappoint you as well. Because no matter how much alike you and someone else are, you'll never be the same. The keyword here is "SIMILAR". It means having a resemblance in appearance, character, or quantity, without being identical.

While their experiences might be similar with yours, in the end it is still "different". It might have molded both of you in to the same type of person, but there will always be differences. These are the people that would befriend those who are similar to them, they would start off pretty well, get along easily & become the best of friends......UNTIL one day they notice their differences. It wouldn't be much of a problem if they could accept their differences, but if one party feel "cheated", it's gonna fall apart in a blink of an eye.

I admire those people, who appreciate both their uniqueness and their similarities with others. Well, I guess most people are like that, so I admire most of them? Or is it? Are people really that decent? Well, you will have to observe for yourself.

On the other hand, what kind of person am I? I suppose everyone have their own standard of acceptance. It all depends on how much difference or how much similarities they can accept. & thus, when I say I admire those people, it's actually based on my own standard of what exactly IS "people who appreciate their uniqueness and similarities with others".

What they forgot to mention

我最丑陋的那一面

我最丑陋的那一面

已经毫无保留的暴露出来了

我不想对人有所隐瞒

但是有些事

还是没有勇气说出来

其实人并没有那么笨

就算我不说也有人会知道

"You either die a hero, or live long enough to see yourself become the villain"

I guess I'll have to live with the guilt & bear the consequences.

You reap what you sow, someday, someone is gonna do the same to me.

& I hope that person won't let me know about it,

 so that I can still believe in the good.

只有对你无论如何都不想躲躲藏藏

想要的是敞开心胸的交流

Leaving

"It is so hard to leave - until you leave. And then it is the easiest goddamned thing in the world."

— Paper Towns
John Green

 

 I'm leaving, in a sense.

A dream in a dream

Have you ever watched the movie "Inception"?

Well, I just happened to have a dream in a dream.

Just like how they do it in the movie.

& it felt so goddamn real.

I forgot what I was dreaming about in the dream,
but it's because that I was dreaming in the dream,
that the dream itself felt so real to me.
I heard you whispering to me, but I forgot what is it that you said.
I only remembered waking up from the dream, with you constantly whispering something to me.
You were in my room.
When I woke up from the dream in the dream,
I punched you, kicked you, hated you, & threw you out of my house.
It felt so real I wonder if I really punched & kicked in my sleep.
That's when I really woke up.
Not knowing why I had that dream.

The whispering.....somehow I think it was regarding "you know who".
Well, no point trying to remember it now.
But it's really interesting, to have a dream in a dream
Its been so long that  I've felt a dream so real.

"Ghost" Project

I'm feeling like a ghost
Once I belonged here
but there is no place for me now.
I became unimportant
So why am I staying here?

 

I just want to look in your eyes
speak to you
or touch your shoulder.
But I can't

Don't cry little ghost
Maybe this is the end for you here
But somewhere else you are welcome...

And she walked away
to find a new place
where she belong
where she is welcome
where she could be happy again.

 

-

Dorottya Sárai 

I do not "know"

If people have never, and will never be perfect...

Why do we complain about others having problems or making little mistakes?

Like we realise we do and do them on purpose or something.

It hurts even more when it's not to your face.

Not that it would hurt any less if it was to your face, though.

-
Aley-hay

Just because you didn't do it to my face, 

doesn't meant it wont hurt or hurt less.

I thought you would understand,

because you're the one who always said "......"

but it's okay though...

I'll drown in my own illusion,

in my own projection of "happiness".

Words can Kill...

2am

Funny,

Why do I wake up?

Unlike before,

I couldn't remember what woke me up.

Then what made me woke up?

I want to know.

Oh well, might as well use the time to study,

And hope that tomorrow will be different from these 2 days.

For me, Insomnia has its benefits. I enjoy the peace I get knowing that most people are sleeping. In addition, you can get a lot of things done. - Kurangwaras

The only thing I'm proud of myself

Is I sure know how to make myself feel good :)

I KNOW WHAT YOU SAID

YOU MEAN IT DON'T YOU?

YOU REALLY DO?

THEN FUCK YOU!

GO FUCK YOURSELF

&

YOUR MISERABLE LIFE

*P.S. This is so not about you.

Hardest Part

You Know What?

厌恶

感到很厌恶

一举一动

一言一语

已经是如此了

我不喜欢的

是什么

我懂了

就是你那眼神

你那语气

你那态度

你的全部

你的好

你的坏

厌恶了

就全都一样

I like this

Not to say I like enemies,

but I actually like this feeling,

when we have common enemies,

and band together to fend them off.

Ohana

You won't find what you're looking for here

"You won't find what you're looking for here."

I told myself that and...

 

"Just remember that sometimes, the way you think about a person isn’t the way they actually are."

— John Green

学弟!?

话说，

我如果成功的话，

不就成了那个人的学弟!?!?

这世界还真小。

Her most beautiful smile

Target set.

I wonder how long will it take.

Forever, maybe?

See?

"See? 

It's not about what's bad or not.

It's about win or lose.

The world is just that simple."

This is a story...

Of a shrinking violet's

First and last revenge

&

Her worst

Yet, best friend.

Pretty

When I was just a little girl, I asked my mother, “What will I be? Will I be pretty? Will I be pretty? Will I be pretty? What comes next? Oh right, will I be rich?” Which is almost pretty depending on where you shop. And the pretty question infects from conception, passing blood and breath into cells. The word hangs from our mothers' hearts in a shrill fluorescent floodlight of worry.

Read more »

Recipe for waking up

"You should read this."

The last words I hear.

看来

看来，我还不够成熟啊。

:)

Looking back

Looking at that person now.

I could see what she hid inside back then.

But I couldn't see the change that was coming years later.

Well, I guess it's my loss.

Or is it? We'll never know now.

 

逃避

逃避是一种罪吗？

人生的选择不分善恶

只不过...

选择面对确实很痛苦

但事后回想

这种痛苦可以磨练灵魂

心墙

人啊，

有些事日子一久就能习惯，

但有些事还是没办法完全克服。

因为内心就是有一道墙。

但是人与人之间不需要高墙，

就算有，

也是稍微调整一下自我，

就能轻易越过的矮墙。

Self-love

In infatuation, the person is a passive victim of the spell of conceived attraction for the object.

In love there is an active appreciation of intrinsic worth of the object of love.

-

Meher Baba

Knowing and loving yourself are prerequisites to fully loving another. Instead of seeking a partner in an effort to be filled up, you will consciously choose an individual who you truly appreciate as a separate person. Most people are confused about the nature of self-love and how that translates to intimacy. When you have generosity of spirit, compassion, understanding, awareness, courage, resolve, and kindness directed toward yourself, you are filled with a very special kind of loving openness. You don't need anyone to give you this expansive feeling. Therefore, you can make a conscious and active appraisal of any partners who might come into your life.

Once in a while

Once in a while, you'll stumble upon something magnificent.

Today, I stumbled upon Leo.

谈专一

题目：改变，是为了追求专一

Read more »

在回眸中…找一个同类

这个世界

很大。

这一辈子遇见过的人，

很多。

你说，

遇见，就是一种福气。

但….

有些遇见，

是让自己痛彻心扉。

有些遇见，

是让情牵午夜梦回。

还有些遇见，

…

是为了擦肩而过。

千百次的擦肩而过，

而我，

只是卑微地期望，

在哪一个回眸里

找到一个

同类。

-

嘉璇

Patience

Build up of expectations
And it soon engulfs the best of us
Lost in its speculations
Will we ever find a way to trust
What I’ll need is a kind of patience
One that will give me the will to fight
The last voice that ends in cadence
I won’t let it be me

Accept/Agree

Acceptance is important but does no imply agreement.

Agree to disagree.

Do not insist that you & your partner must see eye to eye.

I will not

岷

不再是鸣

Have I ever told you?

Have I ever told you the story about my father? 

What he did & what I thought? 

Well, I guess not.

Because if I did, you would know what I mean.

What a coincidence

Scoopz with Anna & Nicole :)

:3

Learn

I guess....You don't learn if you don't fail uh? Then so be it, gotta try new stuffs.

The Girl Who Leapt Through Time

What would you do? If you had the ability to leap through time?

This is all I wanted.

You have your troubles & I have mine.

But does that matter?

We're still able to have a great time, forgetting about all that's troubling us.

Isn't that enough?

To have a friend who could do that.

BBQ Eel Hot Pot Porridge :)

Umm, looks good XD

Advice

All your useless advice
About moving on
None of it will suffice
None of it I will act upon

All your empty words
About being happy
And moving forward
To a life that's not crappy

All the worthless things you say
Every cloud has a silver lining
Could you be any more cliche?
Your advice needs some redesigning

My own advice only works
For everyone but me
It's just one of my little quirks
So happy I will not be 

Do not assume

Do not assume (if I hold the door for you),
that I am making a statement
about your inabilities
to open the door for yourself.
If you hold it for me,
I'll say 'thankyou'.

Do not assume (if I pay for the meal),
that I am underestimating
your earning capacity.
If you invite me out for a meal,
you're paying.

Do not assume (if I defend your rights),
that I am belittling
the attempts that you have made
to defend your rights yourself.
If you defend my rights,
I'll consider you human.

Future/Tell me

Tell me something I don't know.

But I guess you don't know that as well. 

It's okay though. We'll find out eventually.

"The puzzle pieces of our life will rarely make a fit, but we take our chances and go along with it."

The past is in debate and the future in unknown.
Who knows where I'm heading to?

Even so, I still look forward to what the future holds.

For now and all time, you'll reside somwhere inside of me

Little mermaid

"She dreamed of becoming a human someday, not realizing that the human she longed for already loved another. "

by QingHan a.k.a Qinni

That's how it's done

Hourglass

"I want you to think of your life as an hourglass. You know there are thousands of grains of sands in the top of the hourglass; and they all pass slowly and evenly through the narrow neck of the middle. Nothing you or I could do would make more than one grain of sand pass through this narrow neck without impairing the hourglass. You and I and everyone else are like this hourglass. When we start in the morning, there are hundreds of tasks which we feel that we must accomplish that day, but if we do not take them one at a time and let them pass through the narrow neck of the hourglass, then we are bound to break our own physical or mental structure." - Dale Carnegie

谢谢你们

累积了好多好多，我没有勇气说出来和发泄出来，结果到最后却靠酒精全都宣泄出来了。

明知道自己不能喝太多，却没克制自己，其实是我的内心里根本就想灌醉自己。

也好，让一切随着呕吐物和眼泪一起消失掉，让自己认清事实，找到方向。

其实早在之前就想好方向了，但是发泄了累积已久的情绪后却让原定的方向有了点改变，希望这是个更好的决定。

接下来就看能不能履行对自己的承诺了。

最后，还真是必须谢谢那些烦人的朋友的关心。 >:)