Been awhile since I last had trouble sleeping :/ This could've been a whinny post complaining about the hardships of insomnia and depicting each of them in detail (about how lost I am and how lonely & bored I am at this moment). But then I remembered, doing that knowing that you might read this post would be like doing the moonwalk in front of Michael Jackson; you know best how insomnia feels like.

Ergo, I'm going to write about something that's going through my mind right now instead. You say you are good at nothing, that is a total lie. You're unbelievably good at making me want you. Remember when we kiss at our 'not so secret' secret spot? How you are always the 1st to pull away? You make me feel like I want you too much.....and that just makes me want you even more. I think of you like how you think of your bed when you don't get to sleep for 2 days straight (*for the record, I have only been kept awake for 1 day straight, as far as I can remember). & it feels good to want something so much........

xoxo LOVE YOU COLOURFUL

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It's been awhile, but I'm probably going to start blogging a little for now, for 2 reasons: 

1) Because I was requested to blog by an angel(in the sense of a kind and lovable person, not the celestial being in various religions)  whose request I can not refuse lest I might experience the excruciating pain of being elbowed in the chest with forces that could break your heart into fragments so small you'd require a microscope to see them. Yes, an angel, so kind and lovable but would still elbow you in the chest.

2) To practice "writing"(technically, I'm typing rather than actually writing but whatever) stuffs, any stuff, in order to prepare for my 'Qualifying English Test' where I'm required to write an essay in between 250-300 words with a clear & defined outline and also grammatically correct in 1 hour and 15 minutes. "Fairly easy" is what I thought, problem is, I haven't written an essay since I graduated from highschool :\

Hence the much needed 'practice'.

Well, I most probably won't be writing about my undying love for the above mentioned angel like how she did for me (& I must say, it is a post so well written, with all the little details and sincere feelings, it made me realise how happiness can suffocate a person; in a good way. *Okay, here's what happened, I cried reading that post & got my nose blocked so I couldn't breathe.)

In any case, what I'm going to blog about will most probably be meaningless chunk of words being patched together in an attempt to make them....sound.....sophisticated.....maybe.

Okay then, until the next post. ;) Ciaosu.

Restrain

Yea... I suppose I could use a little restrain.

Pain is universal & no one is immune to it, no matter how convincing the smile they wear is.

"That's the thing about pain, it demands to be felt." - Augustus Waters, The Fault In Our Stars by John Green

Schadenfreude

Everybody has their own shit to handle, that's for sure. I just hope not everybody likes schadenfreude.

These fragmented lines that keep appearing in my head, they truly are stars that I can't fathom into constellations. ✨

You had your wishes but you threw them away
It made you happy yeah for more than one day
But now you're lost and cannot figure a way
To get out of this lie that comforts you

“All she knew for sure was that right here and now, she was falling hard and she could only pray that he was feeling the same way.”

It occurred to me that all the wise words that can be said have already been said.

A place to hide

So you actually have some where to hide huh?

Isn't it strange, that it's always the truth that seems the most suspicious.

Crying

Now I know why I wasn't able to cry that time.

Because crying was me plus tears,

but that thing.... that was me minus something.

The reason for my happiness and my sadness is the same.

Isn't that what you meant?

When you say that you have no reason to be happy,

and that everytime you are happy you get sad again.

I understand that.

 

Stay

I told myself no matter how hard you pushed me away, I'd stay.
But is this right?

I don't know.

I just want to stay, 

until the day when I have no energy to stay anymore.